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About Literature / Hobbyist TimmyMale/United States Groups :iconlegion-of-tg-artists: Legion-Of-TG-Artists
 
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First, I want to say that most people won't read this, and most people probably won't care, either. I've had this bottled up for some time now, and I need to let this out.
Most of you know that it's rare that I ever rant in public, but I want this to be heard.


    A lot of you don't know that I have depression. Am I saying this for attention? Not at all. Allow me to explain.
Since this past August, I've had depression. Unfortunately, I don't need to see a doctor/psychiatrist to know that I have depression, because the signs show for it. I've had several counselors, and a friend who has legitimately been diagnosed with chronic depression tell me that I do. The fuel to the fire is that I've had suicidal thoughts. I'm writing this to share feelings with you guys, and so people have the chance to possibly rectify themselves before it gets worse.
    Like you just read, I've wanted to kill myself. The actual thought brings me joy knowing that everything that's wrong with me would be gone in that instant. All of the burden of financial debt from college in this godforsaken country would vanish. The thought of a mugger with a pistol to my face is bliss.


I welcome death.



    The facade of me hiding behind a fake smile kills me. It hurts me to smile, knowing I'm in pain inside. A lot of stuff feels like it's my fault. Why I don't have a girlfriend, why I'm so shy, why I'm so pessimistic. It also doesn't help that my parents have done everything in their power to make me who I am to this day. And that's what gets me-- How much of a burden have I been? How much of a burden am I being now?

    But then, I realized, "How stubborn of me. How dare I. How dare I take the joy from my friends. How dare I take the love from my parents. How dare I". And those thoughts that come get me so angry, because why should I get 'sweet release'? There's people who have it far worse than I do. I'm blessed to have such luxuries like a job, a computer, a house to call home, and I want to leave this? A counselor at the college I was at always told me, "Look at the brighter things. See what's here for you, and what's there for you. Turn the bad into good". It sounds easy, but those good things turn sour very fast (especially for me), and I end up in a deeper hole than I already was.
    Each day I go to work, it's getting harder and harder for me not to break down. Each night I lay in bed, it gets harder for me not to cry. Each day, I feel weaker and so close to giving up. Even tonight, I've thought about giving up on running my deviantART page.

The walls are only getting closer to closing, and I don't think there's much I can do.

If I happen to leave dA, I just want to say, have a fantastic life. If your life is flashing before your eyes, make it worth the watch.
I want you all to have the very best out of what life can toss at you.

If I happen to make it through hell, expect a top notch story from me. Otherwise, I'll just be lurking about. And if you've decided to read this, I want to say thank you.

I mean it; thank you.
~Timmy
  • Listening to: The Blue Danube -- Johann Strauss
  • Eating: Yogurt

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TG-Timmy
Timmy
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Right! So, my name's Timmy (or Tim, either works :P) and I like to write TG stories! The whole reason as to how I got into TG was an anime called 'magical taruruuto-kun'. I don't really know what the shows about, to be honest, but to say the least, there's a lot of TG'ed transformations that take place. Basically, what had happened was that my friend and I were looking for a clip from the movie, which my dad had showed me, and wanted to find it to show my friend. Instead, I found a clip of... Well, I'll let the video talk for itself: www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqP-1I… (video got removed D: )
Ever since then, I've been into TG!

I write TG is because I'm one of those people who want what they don't see. It's confusing, but let me explain: You read a book. You're reading and the book begins to grow intense. When you come to the end, you didn't expect what you thought it would have ended. That's how I feel with most TG/TF stories; it's there, but it's not enough detail to feed my need. :P

Writing TG is a real personal hobby of mine. So personal, in fact, that only 2 of my friends know; my parents don't even know about it! Why I keep it so secretive is because of people. People? Yes; people are so judgmental these days, you can barely get away with your looks themselves. I don't want to reveal that to my friends and not being able to hear the end of it. So, the 2 friends I have are all that I reveal, and people that watch me, because I know that they love to read these as much as I enjoy writing them. Plus, the friends I've told read a few themselves!

Another reason why I write TG is because of my mind. I'm very curious of certain things; like TG stories, for example. It's always amazing what different transformations there are, you know? Painful, quick, slow... Whatever it may be, I've always wanted to experience a change for myself. It'd be kind of nice to experience a day in the life of a girl!

Anyways, that's basically me! Just your normal guy who enjoys reading and writing TG stories! Let's get to work! :D


I also play games! If you're in the mood for some gaming, send a note to me! I've got a Steam ;D
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:iconyumonstudios:
YumonStudios Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2016
Do you do commissions or requests?
Reply
:icontg-timmy:
TG-Timmy Featured By Owner May 2, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Can't say I'm good enough for commissions, but requests are always a thing!
Shoot me a note :P
Reply
:iconyumonstudios:
YumonStudios Featured By Owner May 10, 2016
I thought you wern't up for writing right now due to IRL.

I fully expected rejection when Iasked. :p
Reply
:iconstormchaser-the-pony:
Stormchaser-The-Pony Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey, Can you get minecraft for free?
Reply
:iconstormchaser-the-pony:
Stormchaser-The-Pony Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I am trying to write myself a TF TG MLP.
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:icontchaikovsky2:
tchaikovsky2 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Woohooo, huge thanks for watching! :iconlajumpplz:

It's you, isn't it? V? <.<
Reply
:icontg-timmy:
TG-Timmy Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Of course! Love everything on your page ;D

ˢʰʰ, ᵈᵒᶰ'ᵗ ᵗᵉᶫᶫ ᵃᶰʸᵇᵒᵈʸ
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:iconrainbowyoshi305:
RainbowYoshi305 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So Amazing! - Eddsworld Edd Icon :icondevwatchplz:
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:icontg-timmy:
TG-Timmy Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:iconbrohoofplz:
You're quite welcome :P
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:iconrainbowyoshi305:
RainbowYoshi305 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:)
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